Personalize It – Change “They” to “I”

Are we living in delusion?  When we read God’s word, we think it is talking about others.  “They”…

If we replace “they” with “I” and “their” with “my”, it makes it hit home more directly.  We are forced to look at ourselves as the responsible party.  Ouch!  In our victimized society, who are we going to blame – except ourselves, if the shoe fits?

Let’s read this passage with each word in parenthesis replacing the word preceding it.

“Sin whispers to the wicked, deep within their (my) hearts (heart).  They (I) have no fear of God at all.  In their (my) blind conceit, they (I) cannot see how wicked they (I) really are (am).  Everything they (I) say is crooked and deceitful.  They (I) refuse to act wisely or do good.  They (I) lie awake at night, hatching sinful plots.  Their (my) actions are never good.  They (I) make no attempt to turn from evil.”    (Psalm 36:1-4 NLT)

That’s pretty unsettling, isn’t it?  Sometimes we need a different way to look at things – to realize that, apart from God, this passage describes our natural tendencies.  We all sin.  For believers, it’s unintentional mostly, even when we try our very best not to betray our Father.  Wasn’t it more comfortable to read those words as they were written – the “they” version in the Bible?

What’s the Big Deal with Billy Graham?

Last week, Billy Graham spoke in a TV special – a call-out to the world on his 95th birthday, and quite possibly his last.

People around the world stopped to listen.  Why is he such a big deal?  Maybe you don’t know he’s a big deal, but he is.  He has prayed with and for world leaders for most of my life, called on by former presidents in times of need.  Why is that?

Billy Graham is respected.  We know what he stands for, and he has never wavered.  Solid.

Source

While many other evangelists were caught in scandalous endeavors, Billy Graham remained faithful.

Love + Respect = Repaired Marriage

Hi, everyone.  It is another Spectacular Sunday!

We had two weddings to attend yesterday.  Last night, after going separate ways so that one of us could attend each wedding, we agreed that it didn’t feel right.  Each of us sitting in a church pew alone while watching a young couple commit vows to each other, just didn’t feel right. We agreed that, from now forward, we will choose one wedding and both attend together.  It’s our statement of commitment to our marriage, as well as to the marriage of the couple at the altar.

The Bible is our instruction book, and I have found it to be the number one resource for a great marriage.

Don’t get me wrong.  I fail often in actually doing what I know I should do.  But, if we can instill much of what God reveals to us, we’re definitely ahead.

Years ago, I read a book called “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.   (It quickly became my number two resource for marriage.)  HH and I had been married about 13 years, and our pastor had preached a sermon about marriage and brought our attention to this verse.

“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.”

Ephesians 5:33

I remember discussing the sermon on the way home from church that day.  Since I had shown my husband no disrespect, I thought I was doing OK.  Later, when reading the Love and Respect book, I discovered I was maybe not doing so good.

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OK, so I’m to respect my husband.  Women need love, and we’re good at loving.  It comes naturally to us.  That’s why men are given the mandate to love us.  Because God knows how important it is to us.

God also knows how important it is for a man to feel respected.  Of course He knows these things, y’all, because that’s the way He wired us.  (You may think, at times, “What was He thinking?”)

I began to ask myself what I could do to show HH respect, since it doesn’t come naturally.  All I could think of was how I had shown my father respect while growing up.  OK, so maybe I didn’t do so well there, either.

Do you want to know what I did to find out?  This is huge, y’all.  Are you ready for it?

I asked him.  Yep.  Just that simple, I sat down with him and asked him what I could do that would show him respect.  It may be different for every man, so we need to find out about our particular man.  How else will we know, if we don’t ask?

After committing to memory the things HH told me, I started doing those things.  Also, I prayed for God to show me other ways I could show HH respect.  I wanted to be good at it, y’all.

It really is transforming.  In the book, you’ll discover that possibly you and your husband are trapped in a negative cycle.

You’ll read about why we should begin our part, whether or not he deserves respect, shows love to us, or does anything on his part to begin the proper cycle of love and respect.  Also, the partner that begins the cycle is the partner that commits to it even when they don’t feel like it.  Force yourself.

HH hates it when I say this, but it’s really the way I look at it.  When I need to show him respect and I just simply don’t feel like it, I have to make a choice to show love.  Sometimes love is a verb.  You choose to love your mate, at times, because the feelings are not there at that moment.  I know when you were first married, you had those ooshy-gooshy feelings of love.  Through the troubles in marriage that Paul speaks of in I Corinthians 7:28, the ooshy-gooshy love feelings fade.

“…those who marry will face many troubles in this life…”

(I Corinthians 7:28b NIV)

Don’t get your feathers ruffled.  They may fade, but it’s not permanent.  Ooshy-gooshy love goes in cycles.  To stand the test of time, we have to rely on something other than our feelings.  Commitment.  Making proper choices.  Choosing to show love.

Sometimes our head has to over-rule the heart.  When our heart is lacking the feelings, our head has to be rational and prompt us to show love to our spouse by respecting him.  In turn, that brings about the response of him showing love to us (now, that speaks our language!).  See how it’s a cycle?  Then, when he shows love, we see more in him that deserves respect.  It becomes easier to show him respect.  Wow, God is smart.  Men, love your wives.  Wives, respect your husbands.  Not necessarily in that order.

When the ooshy-gooshy feelings have faded, pray for God to revive them.  He will!  Continuing to show respect towards our mate keeps us in the proper cycle.   Our marriage will be blessed, richer for it.  You may have already discovered the treasures of love and respect.  If so, I’d love for you to share through a comment.

I encourage you to check out the Love and Respect website HERE.  Also, they have a blog that features personal stories that are not only enjoyable to read, but possibly a story that is similar to your situation.  HERE is the link to their blog.

Happy Spectacular Sunday, y’all!

*Post contains affiliate links.  See my disclosure here.